Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. Pathetic, unoriginal kid just wanting attention. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Learn about the best baby names out of Japan. Ivana fuck your brains out. Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. Virgin Mobile, Boy: Want to hear a joke about my dick? Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". 13. Must be none of your business then. Strong people dont put others down. Whos there? Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? 2.) Get Ready to LOL With These 70 Hilarious Jokes, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. The dont meet the koalafications. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. There is the attention you were looking for. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. Fssh. Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. When did I ask. What do you call a fake noodle? What's the best smelling insect? Jokes for Kids 2022 | Beano.com. Same middle name. Micro-waves. Hi! Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? A tomato in an elevator. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. These classic What did? But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? When someone asks "did I ask you", you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Explanation: The first two errors? Because they'll never meet. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Find out here! All while making the question asker look dumb. 34. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. Whether youre in the middle of a heated argument or simply trying to have a conversation, it can be incredibly frustrating when the other person responds with a flippant did I ask?. This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. Robin. 9. Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up If youre not in prison. Halfway. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? The redhead says it looks like cum. Or it is asked to someone who just said something that doesnt help whatever point the question asker was trying to make. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. Learn more about us here. Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. King Henry the Second. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Walking takes too long. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Waiter! King Henry the Second who? Do you love hearing jokes? What did the tree say to the tree surgeon? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Call and tell her about it. Why did the chicken cross the road? ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. * No, you didn't. What's your point? Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. What do a guy and a car have in common? The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. and our Is everyone else here a jerk? Explanation: This ones full of nods to music: Chopin and Bach were composers, and a minuet is a type of dance (and the music that goes along with it). And do you love, well, jokes? or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? Then why are you still talking? Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Why were they called the Dark Ages? We suppose you belong to those daredevils. Jokes to Test Your Brain! What Is My Angel Number? What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Explanation: Gathering dust (and other dirt) is a vacuum cleaners sole purpose. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. Copy it to easily share with friends. Tap To Copy. I said you look fat in those pants. Why don't chickens play baseball? Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. We recommend our users to update the browser. What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? 20 History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At. I know because they told me. Because the queen reigned there for decades. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 46. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! Got a PS5 for my little brother. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. A slipper. 38. Whats warm, wet, and pink? Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? Thats not to say the images on this page will make you any smarter, but they may offer you some material you can use in a variety of ways. 7 Up in cider. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. A limbo champ walks into a bar. 17. Dont make me come in there! Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. Why do we like volcanoes? Whats the difference between your wife and your job? What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. I'm a helicopter! A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. 2. Fuck you said who? Whats another name for a vagina? This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. It loafs. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. Best trade I've ever done! There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Why do vegans give better head? Thats the church I used to go to.. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. In a hambulance. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. What did the banana say to the vibrator? In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? Da brie was everywhere. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. 1. person one: I went out to dinner with my family . Here are some dark jokes to check out if you have a morbid sense of humor. I was kidnapped by mimes once. Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. Theres no menu: You get what you deserve. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. It all depends on you and the situation. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. I dont know how to do it. What is the opposite of a croissant? Is it in?. How did the pig get to the hogspital? They dont actually want to know if they asked you. A bear walks into a restaurant. How do you throw a space party? Theyre used to eating nuts. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Share He worked it out with a pencil. Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. It shut all my friends up! She says, "Oh, it's like a dick but smaller." 36) The stork is the . 42. Spit, swallow, gargle. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Where does the general keep his armies? "I stand corrected!" I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep thats got to be the ultimate rejection. So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,. Knock knock. } No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Watch me pretend to care. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Not being a retard. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Its the same as a French kiss, but down under. 64 What Did The. How do you organize a space party? 18. Cereal who? Now do you get it? How do you make a tissue dance? They've kept in touch after all these years. I don't think you should be happy. Because every play has a cast. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Whats a foot long and slippery? But there are ways to counter it. Traffic jam. They have many fans. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. You boil the hell out of it. Whos there? It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Your girlfriend makes it hard. 3. The man. If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. If they ask, "Who asked?" Whos there? How can you tell its a dogwood tree? Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Then it hit me. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. Ate something. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. 4. Not all men are annoying. The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. Have fun with some of these. What did the alien say to the flower bed? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? A Maybe. How do celebrities stay cool? Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . said the man in the orthopedic shoes. Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. Youre probably dumb. Robin you, now hand over the cash. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. That really hurt!" the first friend exclaims. It was two tired. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Your wife will always blow your bonus! But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. Control Freak. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? She choked. Why does bread take so long to digest? As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. "Ouch! My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. A $100 bill. Hey, havent we metaphor? I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? Why arent koalas actual bears? Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! This obviously isnt working out. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. the bear replies. Why did the candle quit his job? What did the mother rope say to her child? This response works because it responds to the rude question with a level of innocence that fully brings attention to how rude the question asker was being towards you. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Some are dead. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. Tap To Copy. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 3. 8. See ya! Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? What did one hat say to the other? It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Ouch! A guy will search for a golf ball. A trip without kids. "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. He's all right now. They just pick things up as they go along. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. It needed help figuring out its problems. 12. Wheeeee! When When When When When When When. Good luck. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? 45 lbs. The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. You spread its little legs. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? We dont serve your type.. You just have to listen varicosely. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. 2. This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. I took a poop in the elevator. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. A Mississippi. Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? Confused by some of these clever jokes? 37. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . They're his watch dogs. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . Sucka who? Oh, I didnt tell you? I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. All it was doing was gathering dust! Where do young trees go to learn? Sometimes its good to learn new things. Fuck you said. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Sneakers. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. What did the clock do when it was peckish? A man goes to the doctor and says Ive got a problem, I have 5 penises.. From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. Why is England the wettest country? *wink*. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. 5. Finding out it was traced. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. About. Waiter if I get my hands on you! The other says, "I'm a big metal fan.". How do you embarrass an archaeologist? What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. What do you call a pig that does karate? 2. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. 4. Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. They have many fans. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Because they use a honeycomb. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Later they get together. 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? Original don't care + didn't ask. Where do young trees go to learn? I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. He was in a jam. Ill go on a head. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentines Day? 31. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. The Satisfactory. You planet. Lick-a-lotta-puss. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? 1.) jokes just never get old well, almost never! Here's the URL for this Tweet. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. We recommend our users to update the browser. The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? But I'm clean now. A nervous wreck. Person . 35. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 14. Things they would quickly admit are wrong to say, or that they shouldn't have said. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. Why do cows have bells? I dont think so. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? I decided to start smoking only after sex. Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. A horse walks into a bar. Why are women like KFC? Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Youd better be. READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. I don't know, and I don't care. Close the door, I'm dressing. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. well, almost never! But hay, its in my jeans. Because they cantaloupe. Knock Knock. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Apple Jokes. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. Whos There? Person 2: Who's there? It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? They lift them up and slam them on the ground. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. 24. is the thing only people in Ohio do."*. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." Oh look! Dont use them at work or around children. But sometimes they even outdo us adults. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Why do bees have sticky hair? 21. 2. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? The farmer had cold hands. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? What do you call a hippie's wife? What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? To get to the other side. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. Ivana who?