You got a rush. Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity. Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. Your desires. Armed with this splendid script, Richard E. Grant executes a tour de force as a relentlessly angry-at-the-world unemployed actor and raging alcoholic. I do. Ah! I adore you. Danny: Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: How should I know where we are? Withnail: We'll keep them here til they arrive. Monty: Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. These aren't mine, they belong to him. Who fucks arses? It's like Greenland in here. Marwood: Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide. Danny: Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. I couldn't, I'm spaced. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? There's nothing out there except a hurricane. You don't deserve such loyalty. Matter. Politics, man. What a piece of work is a man! Withnail: What good's the side? Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Why can't I get on television? It's available on Marwood: Withnail: Survey of rural types. Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Withnail: [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Uncle Monty: Oh! [pulling some goo out of the sink] This is ridiculous. [holding up a pill] Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. You're looking very beautiful, man. Grab its ring. Jesus Christ. One of us has got to stay on guard. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Belongs to the fellow downstairs. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Withnail: Be seated. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. Stop saying that, Withnail! [holding him back] His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. Had a weight under his fez. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." He doesn't have any friends. Required fields are marked *. I think we've been in here too long. Withnail: No, I'd better go. Where did you school? Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Marwood: Well, I don't know. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. Burnt! reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! It's the only solution to this intense cold. Come on lads, let's get home. I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Goes into court in his kaftan and a bell. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! Withnail: [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: Imagine the size of his balls. All right here? Add spice to it. Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). 1 comment. I've never met him. Mrs. Parkin: Oh, Baudelaire. [pointing at a table] Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Marwood: Change down, man. The thermostats. Chin-chin. If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Dealt with them? These aren't accidents! Why can't I get on television? Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Monty: The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. Balls! [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. Murder and All-Bran and rape. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Marwood: "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. Monty, Monty! DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Got a bit carried away. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. Marwood: And we want them here, and we want them now! Why don't you go back? Monty: Withnail: Tactical necessity. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Have you been away? [reading the note] So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. ", Oh! [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. And you'd be marvellous. Withnail: Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! Monty: [clearly drunk] What have you done to them? Marwood: Danny: Waitress: Marwood: Get out of it for a while. I'm gonna be a star*! Scrubbers! Something's got to be done. Withnail: This doesn't go down at all well. Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. Withnail: Bates novel I'd read. Withnail: Half an hour? I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Withnail: [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. Stop saying that! Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. Especially that pimp! The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? The carrot has mystery. Monty: Please, let's go. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. Monty: Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Danny: Withnail: When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Irishman: He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Withnail: The school in fiction Poetry. I could take double anything you could. What have you found? Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Don't be ridiculous. Ponce! Dont be ridiculous. *Fork it*! Look here, my cousin's a QC! Jake: It's got to warm up. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. A little before your time. These eels are for my pot. I might fetch you up a rabbit. Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Withnail: To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. Just think of it with bacon across its back. Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. What's it got to do with you? I would say. I've looked into it. Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. You'll have to find us first. Eggs and things. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! withnail and i 96119 GIFs. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Withnail: Look at my tongue. But no man's put me down yet. Bastard must have died. Withnail: Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. Withnail: I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Then it was a rodent. What do you want in here? It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Marwood: [looking at a newspaper] I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. - Washington Irving. Then they must be delighted with your career. The cottage. You'll all suffer! Withnail: "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Beastly, ungrateful little swine! You won't keep us anywhere. Who f***s arses? Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Marwood: The murder and All-Bran and rape. . Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! quotes duty call warfare modern war. God fulfils himself in many ways. Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. Withnail: "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Were incompatible. An expert on bulls you are not! Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? Then the fucker will rue the day! Would you like a drink? I don't advise a haircut, man. A coward you are, Withnail! You want working on, boy! Sherry? Danny: 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? [toasting with a drink] Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. How dare you! We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. This is me, naked in a corner! Haven't seen Gielgud down the labour exchange! Withnail: Come on, old boy. I mean look at us! By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! In this case, it most certainly would not. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Marwood: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? [leaning out the car window] I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? The paragon of animals. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Tea Shop Proprietor: A coward you are, Withnail! These pheasants are for my pot. Rubbish. The only people he converses with are his clients, and occasionally the police. Marwood: We're early. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! We're not from London! They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. We're incompatible. Withnail: Marwood: Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. No it doesn't. Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Please don't. Marwood: I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Withnail: It's ridiculous. All right, this is the plan. Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. We're doing a feature for Country Life. [shouting at his cat] We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Uncle Monty: I sometimes wonder where Norman is now. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Oh, Oxford Marwood: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! I never thought he'd come all this way. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Danny: [smiling] We're working on a film up here. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. *Scrubbers*! How you feel. "Curse of the Superman. Monty: I think you've been punished enough. Outvie him. [calmly] Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. What the fuck are you talking about? There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! No, no, you can't. No, that is a dog. Monty: Monty: Here hare here! Trying for even more advantage. Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! [offering Monty a glass] [voiceover] Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! [after a phone call with his agent] Withnail and I Quotes. [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Policeman 1: Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Don't you agree? Here, I dont want it. Withnail: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. It'll pass. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Danny: If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Press J to jump to the feed. The movie, which ta. Danny: Then why has my head gone numb? Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Withnail: Marwood: Suits me. Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? Danny: Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. Black puddings are no good to us. Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. Monty: Uncle Monty: Go with it. 4 Mar. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. You've got a rush. Got busted coming back through Heathrow. He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. Marwood: Jesus Christ! [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: He won't gore you. Let him get his drugs out. This is ridiculous. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. It'll happen. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. [removing his sunglasses] Withnail: 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. We want the finest wines available to humanity. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Why don't I get any soup? A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! I'm good-looking. You will make it low. Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". *Aaaaarggghhhh*! Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Oh, look at this little bastard. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. The beauty of the world. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. [picking up an apron] Withnail: "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. Have you had any training in the martial arts? I say, you know what we should do? Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. Withnail: I imagine they're talking to each other. And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. We've gone on holiday by mistake. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Balls! He went to the other place, Monty. Marwood: Dead down the drain? Danny: This ain't fancy dress." I'm getting the *fear*! You can never, never disguise it. Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. I must have some booze. It's a bloody chicken! Where's the aspirins? [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] . Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Monty: The police, Miss Blennerhassett. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. 4 Mar. I wondered if you could sell us some food. Quite freaked me at the time. [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! This doll is extremely dangerous. I might come and see you lads in the week. What's your name, MacFuck? Marwood: Withnail: Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Brings back such memories of Oxford. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Headhunter to everyone. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: What's in your hump? They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. [pulling back the lace curtain] Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Don't look, don't look! Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. [lunges towards the sink] Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Headhunter to his friends. Jake: It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. Find your neutral space. He's building the prototype now. Withnail: Clearly a myth. Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. Change down, man, find your neutral space. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. You got to throttle him. Marwood: You know what we should do? I say, you know what we should do? I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] We are multimillionaires. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Monty: No need to get uptight, man. I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Here. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. How like a *god*! Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Withnail: Marwood: Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Marwood: The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . I expect they're dead down the drain. I'm starving. Withnail: "I fuck arses." His name's Presuming Ed. Why have you drugged their onions?! Sort of said it without thinking. Hare. Danny's a genius. by Anonymous: . Headhunter to everybody. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Here.". Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Withnail: This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Afrika Korps. General: Isaac Parkin: STANDS4 LLC, 2023. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Ah, he knows. Do you like vegetables? Something's got to be done. I think you've been punished enough. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. I don't want to hear it. Add spice to it. Monty: Withnail: Scrubbers! Withnail: There can be no true beauty without decay. I really don't want you to. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. No fridges, no televisions, no phones.